A Father’s Love

The motif of deception on the parts of Wai Tung in Ang Lee’s “The Wedding Banquet” and Blanca Trueba in Isabel Allende’s The House of the Spirits in regards to their romantic lives is motivated by fear, one of the strongest emotions humans experience. The fear that is seen in their hearts is of disappointment and disapproval, specifically of their fathers’ part. In one case we see a retired Commander of the Army, and in the other a hard-headed, short-tempered man who is not afraid to let his opinion be know, no matter how harsh it is. There is a similar pattern of a child’s dishonesty with his or her father due to a fear of the consequences. This struggle between the child’s personal identity and their identity in relation to a family unit is caused by factors that lead Wai Tung and Blanca to question themselves and their personal desires, with both going to extensive lengths to keep their love lives under wraps. The fear of bringing shame upon their families and of uncertain consequences, fueled by the father’s strong hold on the child, reason enough to live a double life. The reasons for Wai Tung and Blanca keeping such a heavy burden to themselves cannot be made clear unless the relationship that each have with their father is analyzed and understood. The biggest obstacle in their path to happiness is the firm belief in tradition and stubborn nature that is shared by both fathers. These two personality traits create Wai Tung’s and Blanca’s dilemmas, while in both cases it is who they love that causes their distress, Wai Tung’s situation is slightly different in that his sexual orientation also comes into play. The suspense hanging in the air throughout both the movie and the novel is the question of the fathers' actions should they find out, a question that has a surprising answer.
In the Trueba family, it is not uncommon for a member to keep something hidden from Esteban, due not only to fear of his opinion but also of his temper, both which are backed by a physical strength that is no stranger to violence. Blanca’s deception is merely one of the many secrets that are kept from Esteban, her gentle nature and “tranquil soul” (Ionesco 143) unable to withstand the physical and verbal abuse that Esteban would deal upon finding out. This fear is justified after Esteban learns of the secret affair from Jean de Satigny, unleashing the “evil character” (199) that strikes fear into the hearts of many, illustrating his point with “whip in the air, beating her mercilessly” (199). Clearly, such anger is best avoided. Many examples of Esteban’s uncontrollable temper are seen throughout the novel, and it is clearly in Blanca’s best interest to hide a relationship that she knows would bring Esteban’s anger to a rolling boil. Despite the overpowering love that Blanca and Pedro Tercero have for each other, their time apart spent exchanging “burning letters, which he signed with a woman’s name and which she hid as soon as they arrived,” even being as cautious to write in “secret code” (153), their love is not enough to give Blanca the courage to run away and elope or tell Esteban of the affair. And instead continues walking on eggshells to avoid another encounter with the physical and verbal abuse Esteban would release if he were to find out.
Upon first finding out of the secret lovers, Esteban quickly makes it clear that Blanca is to have nothing more to do with the “flea-ridden brat” (144) and find someone more her social (and Esteban’s political) equal, Pedro Tercero’s lower social standing a major contributing factor to Esteban’s disapproval. He would never consent to his daughter marrying the son of his foreman at Tres Marias, particularly because of the adulterous relations they had carried on outside the bonds of marriage. Despite the punishment Blanca receives she refuses to extinguish the love in her heart, choosing instead to keep Pedro Tercero a secret from her father’s hot temper, overbearing nature, and strong political beliefs that would never allow for his approval of the “born rebel” (154) whom she loves. The strong bond that forms between Blanca and Pedro Tercero during their childhood and throughout their lives proves to be unbreakable, the many obstructions that test it not strong enough to phase their love, from Esteban’s fits and threats, to Blanca’s forced marriage to Jean de Satigny, (a man that Esteban does approve of, mostly because Jean is the “most sought-after bachelor in the area” (184)), not even the loss of three of Pedro Tercero’s fingers to Esteban’s anger and axe are enough to extinguish the love that they share, these events clearly justifying Blanca’s desire for secrecy in the first place.
Ang Lee’s presentation of Taiwanese American immigrant Wai Tung’s struggle with his identity shares numerous similarities to Blanca’s situation in Allende’s novel, particularly his strict father and the fear of his father’s reaction if he were to find out about the relationship that Wai Tung has kept in secret for so many years. The parallel of a hidden lover is what most strongly ties Wai Tung to Blanca, with fear of disapproval and uncertain consequences also factoring in. The dilemma that arises here is also of whom Wai Tung has chosen to love, much like Blanca, it is a person that his father would not approve of, although in this instance the gender is the most problematic issue. While Wai Tung’s situation does not appear nearly as violent or threatening as Blanca’s, his father’s stubborn nature and strong belief in tradition that are akin to Esteban’s, not to mention his illustrious military past, are enough to cause Wai Tung’s misery and reason for secrecy. The main reasons for Esteban’s hatred of Pedro Tercero Garcia do not necessarily apply here, being that Wai Tung’s beloved is neither of lower social standing nor a political rebel, but the fact remains that Wai Tung is scared to tell his father the Commander of his relationship because of whom it is with. The strongest motivation for hiding Wai Tung’s boyfriend Simon from his father is the fear of shaming his family due to his sexual orientation, their deep-rooted traditional values, particularly his father’s, leaving no room for his homosexuality. Simon is not exactly the mate that his parents have always dreamed of, obviously because he is not female and therefore unable to provide the many grandchildren that they have wished for, Wai Tung’s father even going so far as to make a vow that he will not die until one is born to his son, Wai Tung being the last of their line. The idea of keeping the family name alive is very important to Wai Tung’s family and his culture, causing even more tension than is already present. The lengths that Wai Tung’s fear drives him to are as extensive as Blanca’s, as he too goes through with a marriage to someone he does not love in order to appease his father, a move that Simon later calls him a coward for going through with.
Both Blanca and Wai Tung share a fear of their father’s disapproval, going out of their way to keep their fathers in the dark when it comes to their relationships, convinced of their disapproval. This fear is the most dominating and influential factor in their lives, later having a great effect on the romantic relationships that they form in adulthood. This motivation leads them to keep the most significant portion of their lives – their relationships – in secret. The most important person in each of their lives is hidden from their fathers, the deceivers going to great lengths to shield themselves from the possibility of a father’s anger or disappointment. While the two’s individual situations are as drastically different as the men they are involved with, both strive for their father’s approval while simultaneously deceiving the same men they seek approval from, preventing the realization of their own desires by living untruthfully. The relationships that Wai Tung and Blanca have with their fathers has great impact on the romantic relationships that they form later in life, the fear of their fathers being a strong hold that they are unable to shake. Despite their desire to live as they please and love whomever they want, they are still held fast in their fathers’ grip, leaving them with the choice of leading a double-life to appease both their own hearts and avoid the shame of a father’s disapproval.